- Import duties on a real living breathing spitting llama are through the roof these days, plus you have to wait for it to get through quarantine and all that nonsense
- Being a wild animal, real llamas tend to smell a bit - whereas this one smells nice and clean
- This cuddly cosy heatable lap warmer will NEVER spit on or at you - not even in your general direction
- Putting him in the microwave won’t cause a meaty explosion
From $25.99
To $30.99
You know all those photos on your mobile phone? The lovely heart-warming ones you're always scrolling back through your gallery to find. Well, it's about time you liberated these memories and got 'em immortalised on say, a Personalised Photo and Text Cushion Cover!
Liven up your living space (or someone else's) with this cosy customised cushion, printed with a montage of three of your favourite photos and a cheeky message of your choosing!
Using our simple and intuitive personalisation process, you can easily upload your photos and and arrange them as you fancy. Just hit the Personalise button to give it a try - before you know it you'll cuddling up with your new cushion and admiring your lovely snaps.
Don't just send them a cheesy last-minute birthday card, sweeten up their special day with a Personalised Happy Birthday Cancake!
This mini personalised feast is handmade in Germany using only natural and high-quality ingredients, and, because it's baked right in the can, it has a lengthy shelf life of up to 18 months without the need for nasty additives, stabilisers, colourings or raising agents. Packed full of delicious chocolate brownie OR white wine/grappa flavour, this soft and moist sponge cake is ready to be devoured straight from the can - no further cooking required!
And that's not even the best bit; to really ramp up the birthday vibes you can add a personalised message and photo to the label on the tin. Just hit 'Personalise' to upload your pic and write your message and we'll take care of the rest. We've also included a candle for your lucky recipient to blow out, because a birthday cake without a candle is just a regular cake.
Fancy trying some of our other canned delicacies? Make sure you check out the full range of CanCakes.
Leave them in no doubt as to who this gift belongs to when you give them this Personalised Name Compact Mirror. Printed in a super cute font on a choice of different backgrounds, this bijou beauty accessory will brighten up even the most bedraggled, mascara-stained make-up bag (it’s seen some sh*t).
Shower his ceramic body with the included set of seeds, add a bit of water, then your work is done. Within days, a beautiful green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a lush layer of green goodness.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch? Pick up some more chia seeds from your supermarket and do it all over again! This llama is infinitely reusable.
Celebrate this wild new discovery and bring a little prehistoric chic into your living space with the Chia Saurus Planter.
The kit comes with everything you need, simply cover this magnificent creature with moist chia seeds - add a little water and sunlight - and he'll be blossoming with a full bushy bodysuit within 1-2 weeks!
But what happens once you’ve harvested your first batch of tasty seedlings? Just grab some more chia seeds from your local supermarket and do it all over again!
The aptly named ISAKOK Japanese incense sticks are a lie. Inside this cylinder is in fact a 2 and a half foot penis projectile, complete with hairy balls, that will launch itself into the face of anyone who releases it. The Cock Cannon prank gift is the perfect addition to hen parties, birthdays, or even Valentine’s Day (if you’re brave enough).
Imagine the surprise on your friend/lover/mother’s face when you announce that you’ve bought them a butt plug. Then, they unwrap what they think is a naughty gift, only to let out a massive groan, because what you’ve actually given them is a bum -shaped sink plug.
But once the lameness of your punny present sinks in, they’ll soon realise what a practical gift it is - the (rear) end to their leaky sink problems!
And they're therapeutic for both men and women!
For women:
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.
For men:
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*
*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
The bodhug Weighted Body Wrap uses the relaxing properties of gentle weight to loosen up tight shoulder, neck and back areas. The deep pressure from the weighted collar relaxes and stabilises the muscles which means less trips to the masseuse. Unlike an actual masseuse, the body wrap doesn’t care if you’ve shaved, make you wear those weird paper pants, or ask you awkward questions in a whispery voice - and best of all, you can wear it anywhere!
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