- Import duties on a real living breathing spitting llama are through the roof these days, plus you have to wait for it to get through quarantine and all that nonsense
- Being a wild animal, real llamas tend to smell a bit - whereas this one smells nice and clean
- This cuddly cosy heatable lap warmer will NEVER spit on or at you - not even in your general direction
- Putting him in the microwave won’t cause a meaty explosion
This personalised LED lamp with name is a shining example of a thoughtful gift. With fully customisable text you can dedicate this unique keepsake to whoever you like, from a friend or family member to your partner or pet.
Leave them in no doubt as to who this gift belongs to when you give them this Personalised Name Compact Mirror. Printed in a super cute font on a choice of different backgrounds, this bijou beauty accessory will brighten up even the most bedraggled, mascara-stained make-up bag (it’s seen some sh*t).
You love them from their head to their toes so these personalised, love-themed face socks couldn’t be a more apt gift. Valentine’s Day is an obvious occasion, but these are an equally perfect gift for birthdays, anniversaries, or just because.
Immortalise them as cupid with our pink design, or opt for the quirky blue. Either way, the predictable gift of socks is now a funny and romantic way to show them you care.
This personalised LED heart lamp is a shining example of a thoughtful gift. With fully customisable text you can dedicate this unique keepsake to whoever you like, from a friend or family member to the bride and groom to be. Perfect for Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and more.
Unfortunately times have a-changed and an original VW Camper Van now costs a small fortune! Not to mention that we're now all a bunch of day-dreaming squares working 9-5 for "the man". Ugh!
This officially-licensed VW Camper Van Storage Tin is a stylish reminder of a better time. A simpler, cooler, sexier time. It's the perfect place to keep all of your biscuits, cakes and psychedelic substances.
Become the face of luxury with this personalisable satin bathrobe; a unique gift that can be customised with a photo and text of your choice. Immortalise a romantic moment, your favourite memory with your BFF or a cute pic of your furry friend. What you choose is up to you, you can even put a photo of a cheese toastie on there if you like, we’re not here to judge.
Shower his ceramic body with the included set of seeds, add a bit of water, then your work is done. Within days, a beautiful green coat will begin sprouting. Watch it bloom a bit more every day, from a bit of seedy stubble to a lush layer of green goodness.
But what happens after you’ve harvested your first batch? Pick up some more chia seeds from your supermarket and do it all over again! This llama is infinitely reusable.
This versatile wooden wall hanging is customisable with photos and text of your choice, plus its narrow profile means it will fit in almost any space that needs a bit of brightening up. From family photos to abstract artistic creations, just send us your images and we’ll do the rest.
And they're therapeutic for both men and women!
For women:
When the moment strikes, just give these balls a pulverising squeeze and know that if this was real life, the owner of the testicles would be paralysed with fear and pain, dry-heaving and wishing for a swift death. What a calming thought.
For men:
Stop playing trouser billiards like a mucky little ape! It might feel wonderfully relaxing but it's horrific to watch. Keep your hands off your – in all probability – unwashed balls and relieve yourself with this rubber prosthesis instead.*
*although don't stop checking them for lumps n' that. Maybe do it in the shower.
He’s no use when he’s all floppy, so fill him up with hot water before getting tucked up. Pro-tip: Tuck him down your pants to experience the thrill of having your very own obscenely large, hot dick.
He’s not just for show, it turns out the humble penis is the perfect shape for a hot water bottle, distributing that lovely warmth sideways through the balls and lengthwise through the shaft. Mmm, cosy.
Just try to ignore his weird little face and be thankful that real penises don’t have them. Mind you, if you were with a man who had a schlong that big, its little grin would be the least of your problems...
The aptly named ISAKOK Japanese incense sticks are a lie. Inside this cylinder is in fact a 2 and a half foot penis projectile, complete with hairy balls, that will launch itself into the face of anyone who releases it. The Cock Cannon prank gift is the perfect addition to hen parties, birthdays, or even Valentine’s Day (if you’re brave enough).
Imagine the surprise on your friend/lover/mother’s face when you announce that you’ve bought them a butt plug. Then, they unwrap what they think is a naughty gift, only to let out a massive groan, because what you’ve actually given them is a bum -shaped sink plug.
But once the lameness of your punny present sinks in, they’ll soon realise what a practical gift it is - the (rear) end to their leaky sink problems!
The bodhug Weighted Body Wrap uses the relaxing properties of gentle weight to loosen up tight shoulder, neck and back areas. The deep pressure from the weighted collar relaxes and stabilises the muscles which means less trips to the masseuse. Unlike an actual masseuse, the body wrap doesn’t care if you’ve shaved, make you wear those weird paper pants, or ask you awkward questions in a whispery voice - and best of all, you can wear it anywhere!
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